A Daughter in Heaven and a Daughter here on Earth...

It was last week that we had a NT Scan and some blood work done to see the baby's growth and to make sure the baby wasn't at risk for Down Syndrome or Trisomy 18. As Joseph and I sat in there along with both of our moms, my aunt, and Joseph's sister.. we were just so nervous! I was especially. I guess the thought of hearing, " Im sorry there is no heart beat." Frightens me everytime before an appointment since that is the first thing they look for. But as I wait to be called i see all these pregnant women in there and I just think of how I would have had my daughter already safely in my arms rather than going through this scare if what would of happened never happened... But i know God has a plan for me.. atleast its what I tell myself because I know its true... So we get called back and im a bit shooken up, my blatter is completely full since i had to down 32oz's of water 20 minutes prior to the appointment, Im scared and just a bit emotional inside... But i walk in and tell everyone where to stand so that I can see the baby on the screen infront of me..lol And so the tech starts with the warm gel and then the ultrasound..and as she presses that against my tummy, I saw our baby's heart beat nice and strong and then we saw the baby move alot.. I was then at peace with everything because I got to see everything! So as the tech continues to take measurements of the baby...The baby kept moving around and was very active... She also wanted to tell us what we were having and well the baby moved into a perfect position and she said, " Your having a girl." I was so shocked and happy and I thought of Mhylah. Our family in the room were just so happy for us, but my mom knew immediately that it was going to be that much more difficult for me... she even had the hiccups during the ultrasound... I just felt so gifted by God for him to give me my little girl here on Earth with me... So now we are a family of four with two daughters and feel so very blessed!

God has blessed us with another miracle

It's been a long time since i have wrote on here and i know blogs are usually updated daily or every other day, but i found myself not knowing what to write about.. I mean the only thing i could think of writing about were letters to Mhylah or something pertaining to her. I mean i think of her everyday and i walk into her room everyday so i mean to write about her i can write forever... I find it so hard that this childs life was given to me by the grace of God and she lived in my stomach for 29 weeks and I have so much to say about her that i think of something new everyday! This past Sunday was her 6 month anniversary since she has been gone.. (time flys by so fast), but it feels like i just lost her yesterday. I love you Mhylah and I will never forget about you and you will always be mommy and daddy's 1st baby girl... oh and wait can i give you the GREAT BIG NEWS.. you are going to be a big sister... Yes mom and dad are pregnant with a little baby sister or brother of yours. We just found out last week July 15th. I know you are happy and cant wait and neither can us and the family.. oh and by the way mommy told everyone she couldn't help it... We were suppose to keep it a secret until after the first trimester but i couldnt hold back... So everyone knows.. and you know how i told everyone? I sent out a text saying this "Mhylah is going to be a big sissy!! EDD is March 23rd, 2011.. I love you guys!!" and everyone is just so happy... We never leave you out of anything Mhylah.. You will always be included in our family portraits, in our life, in our prayers, you are apart of this family no matter what.... Well i love you honey and I just wanted to tell you the great news and how God blessed us with his blessings. Mommy and daddy love you and we miss you everyday!

Mhylah's Story

Hi, my name is Amanda and this is our story of our daughter Mhylah who left us to soon... It was back on July 27th, 2009 that i had found out I was going to be a mom. I took about 9 test that day to confirm..lol I found out early morning and went on my lunch and bought a bear that came with a pocket (where I placed the pregnancy test)... I came home that day and gave Joseph the bear in a gift bag and he took out the test and didnt even know what it was.. he thought it was a remote to the bear..lol (i know men right..lol) i then told him that it was a pregnancy test and that it was positive.. he was pretty happy and wanted to tell everyone... At that point Joseph and I had only been together for 27 days.. He just got out of the Marines after serving 4 years and of those 4 years 2 tours to Iraq. We dated in high school for a little bit and then after high school we went our seperate ways and then got in touch while he was stationed in Japan and we decided we would give us a chance... So jumping back to finding out we were parents.. well we told the family and they were all SHOCKED! I mean we just got together, he just came home, had a girlfriend, been gone from 17-21, n becoming a dad...its alot to take in... and I am the only girl in my family and the oldest with 3 younger brothers..so you can only imagine what Joseph and I were in for.. Well weeks went on and we heard the baby's heart beat for the first time and at that point that was reasurrance for me but i also fell in love... We the jump to our 18 week check up where we get to find out what we are having...It was Joseph and I Daniel9my brother) and Jessica(his sister.. who dates my brother Alonso...Thats a different story for another day)us four were in the room and she announced we were having a girl.. Everyone thought it was going to be a girl.. by that time both families were all excited and couldnt wait for her to be here... She moved and kicked and it was just so amazing how a life can grow inside of me that was a baby of my own... I picked out the name Mhylah and everyone loved it.. her full name is Mhylah Jhordynn Ann Scisson... i know i like unique spelling :)
It was the weekend of January 15th, 2010 that Joseph and I were getting ready to take our pregnancy photos and register @ Baby's R Us and Target for the baby shower that was in 1 month.. Friday night i didnt feel Mhylah move so i made sure to watch her Saturday..That day we took our photos and went to Baby's R Us and registered..i didn't feel her move at all.. I became very scared as well as Joseph did to.. We felt for her in my stomach and it was soft..when i was all belly and my stomach was hard... We just moved onto our new home New years that we got for us and Mhylah so she can have her own room from an apartment... We couldnt sleep Saturday night so we decided to call my on call OB @ 6am Sunday morning..they returned the call quickly and told us to go to the hospital...
Sunday January 17th- We go to the hospital and i get put into the OB section of the hospital.. i get called back and the nurse puts a doppler on my stomach..I am 29weeks at this point so just 7 months...I heart a heart beat but i dont know her heart beat and mine... she then asks me oh whats her name and i say Mhylah.. She gave me hope and i thought everything was fine.. She then said, " i am going to have the doctor look at you ok, i said ok" he came in with a big ultrasound machine and i looked on he screen and i couldnt see Mhylah.. i got scared..Joseph is sitting next to me holding my hand... Then he says, " I am sorry, but there is no heart beat." I couldnt believe those words came out of his mouth i told him check again.. and he did and got the same results.. he then said i am going to give you a moment and i will be back in to talk to you... I cried and cried...How could this happen to me or us.. what did i do.. all the test that are done while women are pregnant-came back all fine. Where did things go wrong?? I asked Joseph to call my mom and he did...I can hear my mom saying what do you mean you lost the baby? Her and my brother Daniel came right away and were allowed in the back with me.. We all just were crying and held eachother, we also called Joseph's mom and family...The doctor then came back in and talked to all of us.. He said that i would have to deliver her and start the process today or schedule it... I choose to start today...My brother Alonso and Jessica(Joseph's sister)and step brother showed up as well..After about 30 minutes I was admitted into the hospital into a room...this was all done at about 8am Sunday morning...It was then when family members started calling family members letting them know.. My aunt Shyri and Uncle bill cousins Ryan, Chad (his wife Tiffany), nanny, Josephs Mom Barbie, 9Dad) Joe, Jessica, Jenny(sister)and my mom, Daniel and Alonso were all there in my room for support.. Joseph who sat next to me holding my hand or touching me in some sort of way was there every single second and NEVER left my side!
At that point i was getting treated all the medications and getting an epidural for the pain..My doctor didnt want me to feel any sort of pain because I was already in the emotional part.. He was great!! We also didnt know what was the cause of Mhylah's death and the doc said he wouldnt know until i delivered her... I thought to myself that what if she came out crying and i had hopes for that because for me the docs can only do so much and then comes God! It wasn't until 12:11am Monday January 18th, 2010 that Mhylah Scisson was born...When i delivered her the cord was wrapped around her neck twice... My doctor gave me Mhylah and i cried for her and held her... My first child, my first daughter, my first everything and i didnt even get to hear her cry... I was so heartbroken...We all cried for her and over her... As our family sat down in my room they watched us give Mhylah a bath, put on her first diapper, and her set of clothes that my brother Daniel picked out and my Uncle Bill and Aunt Shyri bought... We put on her clothes...Joseph did one side of the diapper and i did the other.. We then wrapped her in a pink and brown blanket and held her..I held her close to my heart so she knew thats where she will always hold a place in mommy's heart...I looked at her and she was just so beautiful to me.. About an hour or so after I delivered her family left to get some sleep and cam back the next day...That morning, the nurses took Mhylah to get her footprints and etc.. they made me a box of memories of Mhylah...Then about 5:30am Monday morning they brought her back to me and let her sleep with Joseph and I...Joseph slept on the hospital bed with me... I woke up and spent more time with Mhylah, i even fell asleep with her in my arms..We had her baptized as a Christian before we left the hospital... I didnt want to leave her at all but i saw her color changing and that just broke my heart even more..I just wanted to take her home with us.. I mean i went to the hospital but came home with empty arms... all i did was cry for Mhylah... We decided to have Mhylah cremated so that she can be home with us and her furture brothers or sisters can see her... I want to thank all of our families who were there to support us!! You dont know how much it means to Joseph and I for the support and the laughs you gave us being in that moment in time...Because of all of you Joseph and I were able to get through our loss...You all made that room so special to us... My mom your so special to me and I love you, Uncle Bill and Aunt Shyri ( I love you and you dont know how much you touched our hearts) Barbie(mom) & Joe (dad) Thank you so much and I love you guys.. TO OUR brothers Alonso,Daniel,Zachary(Mhylah knows you would have taught her football) Bubba, and Jacob and our sisters Jenny & Jessica (Thank you for being thee for us and showing your support to your neice, i know she loves you all!!) to my cousins Ryan and Chad you guys were funny!!! (Tiffany-Thank you for being in the delivery room) Nanny i love the Lamb you got Mhylah.. Aunt Debbie and Uncle Sam, Mikah and Mariah-Thank you for the memorial CD it was so BEAUTIFUL! WE LOVE YOU ALL!!!and Joseph who is my fiance now, I love you and thank you so much for never leaving my side.. You are so strong for us and i am so thankful for you being in my life!! It was rough, but you know what that by far is probably the hardest thing that we would ever have to go through as a couple and everything else that comes along, we should be able to get past it I love you! and Mhylah loves you and is so proud of her daddy..She is always with us!!! A special thanks to our family and friends who supported us through this tragedy and to office max who sponsered Mhylah's memorial cards!! Mhylah Jhordynn Ann Scisson was still born @ 29 weeks 3Lbs 2Ounces 15.5 inches long on January 18th, 2010 @ 12:11am and will forver be missed and loved... I love you Mhylha*Love* Mommy and Daddy